Dear Mom
Not a day goes by that I don't remember some experience we shared.
Not a day passes without this grief showing it's head.
I want to believe that you are living on some other plane of existence with absolute joy and freedom. I have no proof, none of us could ever know without actually joining you there. I'd love to be able to, but that is something I can't force.
I asked you to come to me in my dreams, to tell me what it's like on the other side. You haven't told me yet. I know I asked you to please not show up as a ghost because I thought it would freak me out. However, I've changed my mind. I want to see you, you are welcome to scare me or startle me with your presence any time. You could wake me up out of a sound sleep if you like. You are totally welcome. Mi casa es su casa, Mom.
Your house is empty without you, but we went there this weekend. Silas, Julie and I were there. Your cats are safe, I know you know, you surely are looking out for them. Pheobe is very happy living with Jules.
Debendorf showed up, just like he used to every Sunday after church. He stayed for brunch. It was delicious, you would have loved it. I made mochi and fruit salad. Silas made some really great home fries and Julie made frittatas. We drank coffee and juice. The Manleys showed up in the middle of it, all four of them. We all miss you so much. Being with each other helps a little, but your absence is so large - there is a very large empty place where you once sat.
We don't really know what we are going to do with your house. I know I said it's empty without you, but at the same time it's full of your spirit. Every object in that house is imbued with your energy. It still smells like you, Mom. The sun shines in the windows at exactly the right angle to set off all the beautiful things you left behind.
I want to believe you are flying around like some crazy airplaneless pilot. Do you have a carpet you sit upon as you whizz here and there? Do you sip tea with the wind in your gorgeous hair? What I would give to have one minute with you, to feel your hand on mine again. That last night we spent in your studio together remains with me as if it were yesterday. I am so thankful for that night.
I am so grateful to you, Mom. I am so sorry that you had to leave us so young.
I feel lost without you.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Words cannot convey
Here is the poem I wrote for my mother's service:
What do you say to your mother,
when her brood is grown and gone?
What do you say to your teacher,
when her students, all forge on?
What do you say to your friend,
when her path strays from view?
What do you say to her,
when there’s nothing you can do?
You open up your heart, breathe strong deep and clear,
and thank her with your words and your many sparkling tears.
Thank her with your life, lived as she had taught.
Thank her with your mind,and deep and silent thought.
You thank her then, let go, release,
And let her leave to rest in peace.
Away she goes with wind and squall,
a floating warmth, a glowing ball.
Past her children, standing strong.
Past her students, playing on.
Past her friends, hugs and smiling eyes.
Past hills and streams, off into the sky.
_________
I can't really describe what I feel right now. I'm hoping people will write some remembrances of mom on this blog. Maybe it will be too much to ask, but I am trying to hold onto as much of her memory as possible and perhaps by gathering others as well, mine will become stronger.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Say I am You
Anne Miller, beloved mother, sister, teacher and friend passed away on Thursday, January 31, 2008, after a valiant battle with leukemia. She was 70 years old.
She is survived by her two siblings: Sam Miller of East Aurora, NY, and Mary Miller OSB of Erie, PA; her five adoring children: Andrew J. LaRoe and his wife Karen of Ballston Lake, NY; Julie A. LaRoe of Schenectady, NY; Lopi LaRoe of Brooklyn, NY; Jennifer A. LaRoe and her partner Dylan Quigley of Juneau, AK; Silas Miller of Burlington, VT; and her two grandchildren: Lila and Miles Quigley of Juneau, AK. She also leaves behind an amazingly dedicated and loving extended family of friends.
For the past 30 years Anne called the Adirondacks, which she loved, home. In the early 80’s she founded the Commonground Gallery in Northville, NY, where she lived, taught, and painted. Anne, a true "gem of the Adirondacks", was deeply devoted to Northville, the land, and its people. She shared her love with everyone she met through her gifts of art, music and gardening. She was an integral part of the village she loved, and will be forever missed.
Anne was born on July 24, 1937, in Meadville, PA, to Bernard and Sylvia Miller. She attended Mercyhurst College, in Erie, PA, as an undergrad and later received her MFA at SUNY Albany. She was a member of the Oak Room Artists and also served on the boards of the Sacandaga Valley Arts Network, the Guild of Adirondack Artists and the Saratoga County Council on the Arts. Her work has been exhibited extensively in the Northeast and is in private collections worldwide.
Visiting hours will be held from 5-7 pm on Tuesday, February 5th, at the Commonground Gallery, 122 Bridge Street, Northville, NY. A service will be held Wednesday morning, February 6th, at Saint Francis of Assisi Church in Northville, NY. Donations can be made to the Sacandaga Valley Arts Network at PO Box 660, Northville, NY, 12134.
She is survived by her two siblings: Sam Miller of East Aurora, NY, and Mary Miller OSB of Erie, PA; her five adoring children: Andrew J. LaRoe and his wife Karen of Ballston Lake, NY; Julie A. LaRoe of Schenectady, NY; Lopi LaRoe of Brooklyn, NY; Jennifer A. LaRoe and her partner Dylan Quigley of Juneau, AK; Silas Miller of Burlington, VT; and her two grandchildren: Lila and Miles Quigley of Juneau, AK. She also leaves behind an amazingly dedicated and loving extended family of friends.
For the past 30 years Anne called the Adirondacks, which she loved, home. In the early 80’s she founded the Commonground Gallery in Northville, NY, where she lived, taught, and painted. Anne, a true "gem of the Adirondacks", was deeply devoted to Northville, the land, and its people. She shared her love with everyone she met through her gifts of art, music and gardening. She was an integral part of the village she loved, and will be forever missed.
Anne was born on July 24, 1937, in Meadville, PA, to Bernard and Sylvia Miller. She attended Mercyhurst College, in Erie, PA, as an undergrad and later received her MFA at SUNY Albany. She was a member of the Oak Room Artists and also served on the boards of the Sacandaga Valley Arts Network, the Guild of Adirondack Artists and the Saratoga County Council on the Arts. Her work has been exhibited extensively in the Northeast and is in private collections worldwide.
Visiting hours will be held from 5-7 pm on Tuesday, February 5th, at the Commonground Gallery, 122 Bridge Street, Northville, NY. A service will be held Wednesday morning, February 6th, at Saint Francis of Assisi Church in Northville, NY. Donations can be made to the Sacandaga Valley Arts Network at PO Box 660, Northville, NY, 12134.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Into The Mystic
Anne Miller, beloved Mother, Sister, Friend, Teacher and Grandmother today left her physical body behind and went to a place we can only dream of. Is it a fantastic gorgeous world made out of radiant light and love? I hope so. Were her beloveds on the other side waiting to welcome her? I am pretty sure there was a host of angels waiting to carry her away. Including Dimitri.
Mom believed in angels, repeating images of them in her prints and many paintings. She sang about them and loved to talk about them. Now she is one. She has graduated first in her class, flying to the heavens, becoming part of the air and the sunlight and the mountains that she so loved to paint.
My Mom is an angel now, she has shed her body, it no longer pains her. In place of the old, sick and dying body she has a new fantastic body of light.
My gratitude to my Mother is flowing out of my heart to her spirit like a river you can never step into twice.
You are the source of me, I began in you and now you are in me. Forever, every sunset I see, every gorgeous mountain top, every eagle soaring home, every flower sweet on the branch, every day filled with the suns rays, every canoe paddle, every dew drop and stray cat will remind me of you.
Thank you to all her wonderful friends for becoming part of our family.
thanks for all the loving kindness and support
We will be announcing her memorial service date soon
Mom believed in angels, repeating images of them in her prints and many paintings. She sang about them and loved to talk about them. Now she is one. She has graduated first in her class, flying to the heavens, becoming part of the air and the sunlight and the mountains that she so loved to paint.
My Mom is an angel now, she has shed her body, it no longer pains her. In place of the old, sick and dying body she has a new fantastic body of light.
My gratitude to my Mother is flowing out of my heart to her spirit like a river you can never step into twice.
You are the source of me, I began in you and now you are in me. Forever, every sunset I see, every gorgeous mountain top, every eagle soaring home, every flower sweet on the branch, every day filled with the suns rays, every canoe paddle, every dew drop and stray cat will remind me of you.
Thank you to all her wonderful friends for becoming part of our family.
thanks for all the loving kindness and support
We will be announcing her memorial service date soon
Into Hospice Home
So yesterday Mom was moved Mountain Valley Hospice Home 108 Steele Avenue Gloversville, NY 12078. She had requested being moved after being informed that there was an open bed. The phone number there 518-725-4545. There is an RN station number that I don't have yet. She is in room 228. I'm not sure of any other details. You can call Mom's and talk to Jen or call Julie for more info.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Status Report
Mom had a good last two nights of sleep. I found that setting an alarm and waking her up for her pain meds made a difference. She slept about 8-9 hours each night with this regime.
Yesterday she woke up all piss and vinegar and I was excited to see her getting up and about with relative ease. About mid-day she had a slip as she spiked a short fever which made her very tired. She had trouble getting up and down as a result and that made things harder for the rest of the day. Today has been hard because of her weakness, although pain hasn't been that terrible.
Her appetite has been the shining point the last few days, as she eats everything in sight. This unfortunately seems to have also filled her colon and she's been constipated in a very bad way. This I feel has made her pain episodes worse and her strength lower as well. She is taking senkotat to combat and is hoping for a breakthrough this afternoon.
-this is dated info now, i though it got posted.
I talked to Mary and Kathy the hospice nurse and apparently she's doing a little better. She is very tired and weak though and I'm hoping another day will bring her back to how she was on Sunday morning.
Yesterday she woke up all piss and vinegar and I was excited to see her getting up and about with relative ease. About mid-day she had a slip as she spiked a short fever which made her very tired. She had trouble getting up and down as a result and that made things harder for the rest of the day. Today has been hard because of her weakness, although pain hasn't been that terrible.
Her appetite has been the shining point the last few days, as she eats everything in sight. This unfortunately seems to have also filled her colon and she's been constipated in a very bad way. This I feel has made her pain episodes worse and her strength lower as well. She is taking senkotat to combat and is hoping for a breakthrough this afternoon.
-this is dated info now, i though it got posted.
I talked to Mary and Kathy the hospice nurse and apparently she's doing a little better. She is very tired and weak though and I'm hoping another day will bring her back to how she was on Sunday morning.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Mom holds court.
The never ending trail of well wishers, helpers, family, friends, pets, and care givers continued today. I am blown away by the love she receives all day, every day. Foot rubs, food, photographs of bygone days, and stories of love, music and joy all filter through.
She's resting now after a small breakthrough pain issue before bed time. I think she waited a little too long between advil doses and her arthritis is flaring up. I talked to Tony at hospice about her pain management because she felt today was particularly bad. From what I saw she had a medium day on the pain scale that was perhaps compounded by a couple of missteps of dosage times. She was very out of it from doubling up on her patches for a good portion of the afternoon. I don't mind her resting, but think that people that don't know that she is rolling her eyes back because of the meds might have think she was worse off than she is. On the good side, her appetite seems pretty darn strong. I got here around noon and found her, Di, and Connie Hume eating salad soup. She finished that and a couple of hours later I made her salad wraps with some of that nifty rice paper stuff. Then a couple hours after that she ate a large bowl of rice and stir fried veggies, followed by some yogurt and blueberries. Not bad for an afternoon. I haven't heard her talk too much about nausea so that's promising.
Joanne came to visit today and has been a great help. I feel bad that Mom has been so out of it so far, but i feel like tomorrow will be better. She just needs a solid night without any prolonged pain attacks.
She's resting now after a small breakthrough pain issue before bed time. I think she waited a little too long between advil doses and her arthritis is flaring up. I talked to Tony at hospice about her pain management because she felt today was particularly bad. From what I saw she had a medium day on the pain scale that was perhaps compounded by a couple of missteps of dosage times. She was very out of it from doubling up on her patches for a good portion of the afternoon. I don't mind her resting, but think that people that don't know that she is rolling her eyes back because of the meds might have think she was worse off than she is. On the good side, her appetite seems pretty darn strong. I got here around noon and found her, Di, and Connie Hume eating salad soup. She finished that and a couple of hours later I made her salad wraps with some of that nifty rice paper stuff. Then a couple hours after that she ate a large bowl of rice and stir fried veggies, followed by some yogurt and blueberries. Not bad for an afternoon. I haven't heard her talk too much about nausea so that's promising.
Joanne came to visit today and has been a great help. I feel bad that Mom has been so out of it so far, but i feel like tomorrow will be better. She just needs a solid night without any prolonged pain attacks.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Friendship
I just wanted to quickly write a little note to thank all the great friends that been stepping up to help mom during this trying time. Calling around I'm constantly reminded of how many great people she has in her life. It's been great talking with all of you. You rock.
Her schedule is full through the next three weeks or so, but people are welcome to double up or come relieve sam or mary during their stays. I'll be calling around to try to get times filled up for february.
Talking to Mom she's been sounding strangely stronger and more comfortable. These are both good things. Her nausea has been less potent the last few days so she's been eating more. Since I feel like the name of the game right now is keeping her comfortable I'd say we're winning the game. Go team!
Her schedule is full through the next three weeks or so, but people are welcome to double up or come relieve sam or mary during their stays. I'll be calling around to try to get times filled up for february.
Talking to Mom she's been sounding strangely stronger and more comfortable. These are both good things. Her nausea has been less potent the last few days so she's been eating more. Since I feel like the name of the game right now is keeping her comfortable I'd say we're winning the game. Go team!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Sunshine
Yesterday Lynne and Harry drove Annie to the radiologist appointment. They will be taking her tomorrow morning to the radiologist for a treatment. One treatment. Thanks for doing that, guys, she really appreciates it and so do we.
Getting Mom out of the house felt good, when she isn't here, more can be accomplished in the maintenance of the household. I contacted the notary public here in town and she is going to be coming by this afternoon, most likely. Julie came up with the new recliner chair and Jack, Julie and I had a fun time bringing it upstairs on the new chair lift. Apparently, the thing is not only for ferrying humans. Bill Debendorf arrived just in time to help too and to give Annie a good book to read.
Mom likes her new chair, but did have a bout of sadness at not having enough strength to push it back into the recline position without assistance.
She ate most of a bowl of rice, advocado and parsley for dinner. Nancy came and gave her an acupressure treatment, which seemed to make her feel good. She fell asleep in her new chair and we left her sleeping there for at least an hour maybe longer.
Julie reported to me that Annie woke her up at 11pm, 2am and then 7am. With nausea, each time taking the tincture to relieve it. She had a rough night but did sleep from 2am til 7am, which is better then the night before. She is feeling very weak today. Also, she has not really eaten today because she is suffering from a bad stomach ache. I made her some juice around 10 am. She drank most of it.
Cathy, the hospice nurse is with her now. They were talking, and Annie doesn't always give accurate information. Keep in mind that her information is not always going to be accurate. Also, when you call to say hi to her, maybe don't ask her too much about her health, but talk about something completely unrelated like politics or art or cats or something. It's good to get her mind on other things. If you have questions regarding her current state of health, please consult the blog or call one of her kids, our numbers are listed on this blog.
I just wanted to put it out to people reading this that if you are planning on spending the night or some time with Annie to help in her care giving, you should call or email Silas about it. Or post on here in the comment section and Silas will add your name to the calendar. It's ok to spend time with her while someone else is here, it makes it easier and more fun too. Also, please refrain from asking Annie about the schedule, it just stresses her out and she is not going to give you the accurate information anyway.
Also, people who are spending time over here with her, it's great to encourage her to go downstairs and sit in the studio and draw while the sun is shining in. It's really nice for her to get a change of scenery and she is not going to always think of it or want to ask. She doesn't always speak up about things that she might like. Ask her if she wants to listen to music, play cards, draw in her sketchbook, write in her journal or drink some juice.
The juicer, again, is not that hard to operate, it ain't rocket science, folks. Keep in mind that when she isn't able to eat solid foods, fresh juice (vegetable, fruit or a mixture) is the one way that she is going to get the nutrients she needs. I am going to make a diagram on how to assemble and operate the juicer so the technologically challenged amoung us can refer to it. I will also make some recipe suggestions. We are keeping the fridge stocked with good juicable produce for your juicing pleasure.
Thanks everyone for being such great support.
Getting Mom out of the house felt good, when she isn't here, more can be accomplished in the maintenance of the household. I contacted the notary public here in town and she is going to be coming by this afternoon, most likely. Julie came up with the new recliner chair and Jack, Julie and I had a fun time bringing it upstairs on the new chair lift. Apparently, the thing is not only for ferrying humans. Bill Debendorf arrived just in time to help too and to give Annie a good book to read.
Mom likes her new chair, but did have a bout of sadness at not having enough strength to push it back into the recline position without assistance.
She ate most of a bowl of rice, advocado and parsley for dinner. Nancy came and gave her an acupressure treatment, which seemed to make her feel good. She fell asleep in her new chair and we left her sleeping there for at least an hour maybe longer.
Julie reported to me that Annie woke her up at 11pm, 2am and then 7am. With nausea, each time taking the tincture to relieve it. She had a rough night but did sleep from 2am til 7am, which is better then the night before. She is feeling very weak today. Also, she has not really eaten today because she is suffering from a bad stomach ache. I made her some juice around 10 am. She drank most of it.
Cathy, the hospice nurse is with her now. They were talking, and Annie doesn't always give accurate information. Keep in mind that her information is not always going to be accurate. Also, when you call to say hi to her, maybe don't ask her too much about her health, but talk about something completely unrelated like politics or art or cats or something. It's good to get her mind on other things. If you have questions regarding her current state of health, please consult the blog or call one of her kids, our numbers are listed on this blog.
I just wanted to put it out to people reading this that if you are planning on spending the night or some time with Annie to help in her care giving, you should call or email Silas about it. Or post on here in the comment section and Silas will add your name to the calendar. It's ok to spend time with her while someone else is here, it makes it easier and more fun too. Also, please refrain from asking Annie about the schedule, it just stresses her out and she is not going to give you the accurate information anyway.
Also, people who are spending time over here with her, it's great to encourage her to go downstairs and sit in the studio and draw while the sun is shining in. It's really nice for her to get a change of scenery and she is not going to always think of it or want to ask. She doesn't always speak up about things that she might like. Ask her if she wants to listen to music, play cards, draw in her sketchbook, write in her journal or drink some juice.
The juicer, again, is not that hard to operate, it ain't rocket science, folks. Keep in mind that when she isn't able to eat solid foods, fresh juice (vegetable, fruit or a mixture) is the one way that she is going to get the nutrients she needs. I am going to make a diagram on how to assemble and operate the juicer so the technologically challenged amoung us can refer to it. I will also make some recipe suggestions. We are keeping the fridge stocked with good juicable produce for your juicing pleasure.
Thanks everyone for being such great support.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Hippy Love
Annie has been getting great results from using the tincture for her nausea. Literally 5 minutes after ingesting 4 drops of it, the nausea leaves. She woke up at 2am feeling blocked and nausea, she took the tincture, the nausea dropped, but she still felt like "something needs to come out"
I prepared some coffee for her to use in an enema and we got her in the bathroom. She felt better afterwards, but apparently it kept her up all night though. In the morning, she had more nausea, she had more tincture and that took care of it. We think the new patch is causing the nausea. My uneducated opinion is that she will become more acclimated to the patch in a few more days. The fact that she spent most of yesterday pain free is a testament to it's effectiveness. She has cut way back on the darvacet and advil. But still the nausea is unpleasant, but thank god for that tincture!
It's awesome! YEA!!
We got the results from the cbc, the plateletes are at 25 (i apologize, I know not if it's 25 thousand or hundred. it said '25' in her book.) the red blood count at 8.5. Dasher said we should wait a couple days before ordering a transfusion. Her last one was a week and a half ago.
She is out now at her Doc appointments. Lynn and Harry drove her, thanks guys.
Before she left, she ate a good lunch, quinoa, sauteed spinach and onions and a scrambled egg. She ate almost all of it! Also, I made her a fresh juice with green apple, romaine lettuce (yes, lettuce juice) and parsley. The juice is a great way for her to get a powerful pack of nutrients in a small serving. Anytime any of you are here with her and she is having trouble eating, please make her some juice, she needs the vitamins, enzymes and minerals. Feel free to call me if you cant get the juicer together, but it's pretty basic assembly not much harder than leggos.
Julie is on her way up today with a new recliner.
We are still looking for someone to stay with her on Friday night. Also, Julie has to leave Thursday morning at 9:30 to go to work, so Pam is going to need to be here close to that time
thanks everyone and do comment on here so I know people are reading it! I feel like I am in a vacuum cleaner.
I prepared some coffee for her to use in an enema and we got her in the bathroom. She felt better afterwards, but apparently it kept her up all night though. In the morning, she had more nausea, she had more tincture and that took care of it. We think the new patch is causing the nausea. My uneducated opinion is that she will become more acclimated to the patch in a few more days. The fact that she spent most of yesterday pain free is a testament to it's effectiveness. She has cut way back on the darvacet and advil. But still the nausea is unpleasant, but thank god for that tincture!
It's awesome! YEA!!
We got the results from the cbc, the plateletes are at 25 (i apologize, I know not if it's 25 thousand or hundred. it said '25' in her book.) the red blood count at 8.5. Dasher said we should wait a couple days before ordering a transfusion. Her last one was a week and a half ago.
She is out now at her Doc appointments. Lynn and Harry drove her, thanks guys.
Before she left, she ate a good lunch, quinoa, sauteed spinach and onions and a scrambled egg. She ate almost all of it! Also, I made her a fresh juice with green apple, romaine lettuce (yes, lettuce juice) and parsley. The juice is a great way for her to get a powerful pack of nutrients in a small serving. Anytime any of you are here with her and she is having trouble eating, please make her some juice, she needs the vitamins, enzymes and minerals. Feel free to call me if you cant get the juicer together, but it's pretty basic assembly not much harder than leggos.
Julie is on her way up today with a new recliner.
We are still looking for someone to stay with her on Friday night. Also, Julie has to leave Thursday morning at 9:30 to go to work, so Pam is going to need to be here close to that time
thanks everyone and do comment on here so I know people are reading it! I feel like I am in a vacuum cleaner.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Mom took a ride down the new electric stair lift
She went and spent some time drawing in her studio with the cats and the plants and her daughter
She liked being down there! We decided that she was going to make an effort to go downstairs at least once a day if she can to enjoy the sun and the backyard and maybe even make some art. We decided to think of her as Annie, the artist and musician and mother and teacher and gardener rather than Annie the cancer patient. It proved to be a nice break from the upstairs.
We had a good time watching the sunset and the sky change colors. We listened to music and drew the cats and talked. It was great.
Thanks so much to those of you who made the new stair lift possible. It just improved Mom's life immensely.
A Sunny Day
Yesterday, Jack and I installed the new chair lift for Mom in the front stairway. He took some photos, maybe he will post them for your viewing pleasure. It works great, Mom got a ride down and up on it when we were done and it was really fun to watch her cruising up with a big smile on her face. Thanks Jack!! Thanks to Jack and Connie Hume for their considerable generosity. Big ups. (and downs. and up and down again. the thing doesn't go fast enough to sell rides to the neighborhood kids, darnnit)
Mom spent a lot of yesterday feeling nauseas. She had neglected to take the suppository before her anti-biotic which is what keeps her from feeling so nauseous. She had the dry heaves several times and complained of having alot of mucus. Dr. Dasher recommended she take robotoson DM. Also, when Tony, the hospice nurse, came over, she discovered that the patch on Mom's arm was hanging off. We thought maybe Mom might have been picking at it and that made it less effective. Tony put a new one on and taped it on and wrote on the tape the date and time so we could remember. She suggested that Mom have a schedule made up of all the medications and times to take them so that she could get evened out. Mom wasn't in favor of that. I asked her several times during the day if we could work on making one. I thought I could make it in word and send it to someone who has a printer hooked up to their computer. She insists that she doesn't need one.
The hospice nurse, Cathy, just brought over a pill container that is arranged by days and morning afternoon and evening. Seems like an effective schedule keeper too. I'll help her load it up.. I think in conjunction with the pill journal, this will help keep her on track.
Cathy just took some blood from her and is bringing it to Nathan Lateur for cbc tests to determine how her red blood count is doing and if she needs a transfusion.
I'll post later when we find out the results.
Yesterday Mom didn't eat all that much, the nausea was keeping her from eating. I made her some eggs and toast in the morning, she barely touched it. I made her a smoothie, she drank maybe one sip of it. I cooked some quinoa and she finally ate a little. Later, I made some nice veggie soup for her, but when I gave it to her, she couldn't eat it either. I went and got some ginger ale for her and that seemed to help her stomach out. We initially thought she should take it flat, but turns out she likes the carbonation because it helps her to burp. I guess she likes burping, it relieves some of the nausea. We decided last night that carbonated water is the way to go and I am thinking that I could add some ginger tea to it. That way we avoid the high fructose corn syrup that is in the commercial ginger ale and the nasty chemicals lurking therein.
Last night, Mom had a nice acupressure session with Nancy from up the street and also had visits from Mary Ann and Lynn but not at the same time. Mary Ann rode up in the new stair lift!
She had a bit of a rough start to today, with dry heaves again this morning. But she is not constipated anymore, which is a huge relief. She had some very active bowel movements this morning. She took some toast this morning with ginger tea and rice milk. About an hour ago I fed her some nice sauteed spinach with onions over quinoa which is her favorite food, apparently. (I also can't spell it- quinoa? quionoa?)
Later on we are going to see if she wants to ride down the stairs to spend a little time in her studio for a change of scenery.
Jules is purchasing a new fancy chair for Mom tomorro morning and will be bringing it up in the early part of the day. I will help Julie bring the chair upstairs and get it situated. It will help her to elevate her feet above her heart. We are currently co-ordinating a ride for Mom to the doctors office at one. Silas is going to call Lynn and Harry to ask them. I'll be going south back to Brooklyn stopping in Rotterdam to visit my Uncle Jim and Aunt Deb whom I have not seen for quite a while....
I am encouraging Mom to gave that nice priest from the Catholic Church a call and see if he'll come by and visit her again, last time it really lifted her spirits considerably.
I am trying to remind Mom to have a sense of humor, but honestly, it's really been a hard week for her, so her humor is a bit wore out. Hoping that getting her downstairs in the studio will elevate her spirits a bit. It's a beautiful, sunny day outside today. The cats are planning a mutiny if I don't hurry up and go buy them some nice cans of cat food.
Jack is downstairs putting the door back on backwards so it doesn't interfere with the new stair lifts action. Thanks Jack!! (how many times can we thank you guys?? You, her friends, are really becoming more and more part of the family)
I know Mom is very thankful for all of the wonderful support everyone is giving her. All of your help, this means YOU, is much appreciated. Thanks!!!!!!
Holding down the fort at the Commonground, yours truly
Mom spent a lot of yesterday feeling nauseas. She had neglected to take the suppository before her anti-biotic which is what keeps her from feeling so nauseous. She had the dry heaves several times and complained of having alot of mucus. Dr. Dasher recommended she take robotoson DM. Also, when Tony, the hospice nurse, came over, she discovered that the patch on Mom's arm was hanging off. We thought maybe Mom might have been picking at it and that made it less effective. Tony put a new one on and taped it on and wrote on the tape the date and time so we could remember. She suggested that Mom have a schedule made up of all the medications and times to take them so that she could get evened out. Mom wasn't in favor of that. I asked her several times during the day if we could work on making one. I thought I could make it in word and send it to someone who has a printer hooked up to their computer. She insists that she doesn't need one.
The hospice nurse, Cathy, just brought over a pill container that is arranged by days and morning afternoon and evening. Seems like an effective schedule keeper too. I'll help her load it up.. I think in conjunction with the pill journal, this will help keep her on track.
Cathy just took some blood from her and is bringing it to Nathan Lateur for cbc tests to determine how her red blood count is doing and if she needs a transfusion.
I'll post later when we find out the results.
Yesterday Mom didn't eat all that much, the nausea was keeping her from eating. I made her some eggs and toast in the morning, she barely touched it. I made her a smoothie, she drank maybe one sip of it. I cooked some quinoa and she finally ate a little. Later, I made some nice veggie soup for her, but when I gave it to her, she couldn't eat it either. I went and got some ginger ale for her and that seemed to help her stomach out. We initially thought she should take it flat, but turns out she likes the carbonation because it helps her to burp. I guess she likes burping, it relieves some of the nausea. We decided last night that carbonated water is the way to go and I am thinking that I could add some ginger tea to it. That way we avoid the high fructose corn syrup that is in the commercial ginger ale and the nasty chemicals lurking therein.
Last night, Mom had a nice acupressure session with Nancy from up the street and also had visits from Mary Ann and Lynn but not at the same time. Mary Ann rode up in the new stair lift!
She had a bit of a rough start to today, with dry heaves again this morning. But she is not constipated anymore, which is a huge relief. She had some very active bowel movements this morning. She took some toast this morning with ginger tea and rice milk. About an hour ago I fed her some nice sauteed spinach with onions over quinoa which is her favorite food, apparently. (I also can't spell it- quinoa? quionoa?)
Later on we are going to see if she wants to ride down the stairs to spend a little time in her studio for a change of scenery.
Jules is purchasing a new fancy chair for Mom tomorro morning and will be bringing it up in the early part of the day. I will help Julie bring the chair upstairs and get it situated. It will help her to elevate her feet above her heart. We are currently co-ordinating a ride for Mom to the doctors office at one. Silas is going to call Lynn and Harry to ask them. I'll be going south back to Brooklyn stopping in Rotterdam to visit my Uncle Jim and Aunt Deb whom I have not seen for quite a while....
I am encouraging Mom to gave that nice priest from the Catholic Church a call and see if he'll come by and visit her again, last time it really lifted her spirits considerably.
I am trying to remind Mom to have a sense of humor, but honestly, it's really been a hard week for her, so her humor is a bit wore out. Hoping that getting her downstairs in the studio will elevate her spirits a bit. It's a beautiful, sunny day outside today. The cats are planning a mutiny if I don't hurry up and go buy them some nice cans of cat food.
Jack is downstairs putting the door back on backwards so it doesn't interfere with the new stair lifts action. Thanks Jack!! (how many times can we thank you guys?? You, her friends, are really becoming more and more part of the family)
I know Mom is very thankful for all of the wonderful support everyone is giving her. All of your help, this means YOU, is much appreciated. Thanks!!!!!!
Holding down the fort at the Commonground, yours truly
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Mom today.
We had a fairly decent day today. The patch(duragesic) seems to have leveled out her pain somewhat and allowed her to focus on other things such as enjoying breakfast and taking a sponge bath. She had a little relapse of pain right before Julie came but that was taken care of pretty quickly with a darvocet. I'll keep the patch schedule on the calendar too and change it if the application times change.
She did eat a fair amount today which is great. I'm not sure about this evening, but during the day her appetite was pretty steady, despite her reporting to others that she hadn't been eating.
We spoke about her radiation on her jaw and shin and she wants to go forward with it. She also said she felt stronger today, and when I called tonight and asked how she was she said "Pretty good.". I smiled and was happy to hear both those things.
I spoke with Hospice and Dr Dasher both this weekend and am glad that mom is blessed with such wonderful care providers. I'm going to work with Hospice to find a good "Cocoon Care" person to fill in any gaps that might happen in our schedule.
I also met Margaret Downing, the Eucharistic Minister that has been giving mom communion, and she is hoping to help out with an afternoon a week or an overnight as well. She seemed very sweet and did remind me of Grandma Miller as mom had said. I also spoke with Pam and will be working out a night this week for her to come by.
As a parting thought I must say it is quite amazing to hear the phone ringing off the hook in that house with so many people calling non-stop to wish my mother well. She loves every minute of it, even if she's too tired to talk.
-Silas
She did eat a fair amount today which is great. I'm not sure about this evening, but during the day her appetite was pretty steady, despite her reporting to others that she hadn't been eating.
We spoke about her radiation on her jaw and shin and she wants to go forward with it. She also said she felt stronger today, and when I called tonight and asked how she was she said "Pretty good.". I smiled and was happy to hear both those things.
I spoke with Hospice and Dr Dasher both this weekend and am glad that mom is blessed with such wonderful care providers. I'm going to work with Hospice to find a good "Cocoon Care" person to fill in any gaps that might happen in our schedule.
I also met Margaret Downing, the Eucharistic Minister that has been giving mom communion, and she is hoping to help out with an afternoon a week or an overnight as well. She seemed very sweet and did remind me of Grandma Miller as mom had said. I also spoke with Pam and will be working out a night this week for her to come by.
As a parting thought I must say it is quite amazing to hear the phone ringing off the hook in that house with so many people calling non-stop to wish my mother well. She loves every minute of it, even if she's too tired to talk.
-Silas
Calendar is now embedded.
Anyone that wants to add something let me know. I'll keep it as up to date as the information I have.
Also I'll send invites to be an author/editor on this site to the addresses I have of folks that I think would be interested. If anyone wants to author posts please let me know and I'll add you.
The calendar will always be at the bottom of this page.
Also I'll send invites to be an author/editor on this site to the addresses I have of folks that I think would be interested. If anyone wants to author posts please let me know and I'll add you.
The calendar will always be at the bottom of this page.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
I thought this might help everyone keep track....
...of how she is doing, who is helping when, and what we are thinking about while we help her with her care and life.
So many people have been helping it really is a testament to her family and friends. I can't even imagine her going through all this without everyone. Jack and Lisa in particular have been as Mom says "complete angels". They just told me that Connie Hume donated a stair lift and that Jack will be installing it in a couple days. Thats great news for everyone!
Mom had a really rough night last night with Andy and then Lisa as well. Looking over the drug notebook it looks like her timing was off on her pain meds which may have contributed to things as well as a strenuous physical therapy session that wiped her completely out. ( i hear she couldn't even lift her head) Her morning wasn't much better, but by the time I arrived around 1pm she seemed to be somewhat better. I also didn't notice any great difference in her from when I saw her at Christmas which was a relief.
This afternoon we convinced her with the help of Anna-Marie and Dr. Dasher to try the duragesic patch which supposedly has the strength of morphine with less of the bad affects that she doesn't like. It also will help with her sleeping and hopefully eliminate the need for alarm-clock drug-intervals. So far so good as she has been dosing off here and there all night and now is asleep upstairs. She is augmenting the patch with tylenol, advil, and the occasional darvocet if things get real sticky. I really hope this combo gives her the relief she needs to get some rest and enjoy the company of those around her.
We need to talk about a schedule for care and work it out so Mom has someone here all the time. Perhaps we can use this blog to accomplish some of that. I think you can subscribe to the blog and have it email you when anyone posts. I am hoping that anyone caring for her will check in on here and write a thing or two. (about mom)..(although jokes, funny stories, or rememberances are not shunned upon)
Julie is coming up tomorrow to have lunch and then stay over. I don't know who is going to be around this week to help out, but we need to coordinate. She really does need someone here round the clock, even if it's only for small things like brushing her teeth. I can't see her being alone anymore, her strength is too low.
The only other person I know that is coming up soon is Mary on the 21st. I'll be here that weekend before. If I can get out of work next monday I might come up sunday. I have to work saturday.
Well I'm going to get some shut eye before she calls me to come help with something.
I hope people use this site and that it helps us help her. :)
-Silas
So many people have been helping it really is a testament to her family and friends. I can't even imagine her going through all this without everyone. Jack and Lisa in particular have been as Mom says "complete angels". They just told me that Connie Hume donated a stair lift and that Jack will be installing it in a couple days. Thats great news for everyone!
Mom had a really rough night last night with Andy and then Lisa as well. Looking over the drug notebook it looks like her timing was off on her pain meds which may have contributed to things as well as a strenuous physical therapy session that wiped her completely out. ( i hear she couldn't even lift her head) Her morning wasn't much better, but by the time I arrived around 1pm she seemed to be somewhat better. I also didn't notice any great difference in her from when I saw her at Christmas which was a relief.
This afternoon we convinced her with the help of Anna-Marie and Dr. Dasher to try the duragesic patch which supposedly has the strength of morphine with less of the bad affects that she doesn't like. It also will help with her sleeping and hopefully eliminate the need for alarm-clock drug-intervals. So far so good as she has been dosing off here and there all night and now is asleep upstairs. She is augmenting the patch with tylenol, advil, and the occasional darvocet if things get real sticky. I really hope this combo gives her the relief she needs to get some rest and enjoy the company of those around her.
We need to talk about a schedule for care and work it out so Mom has someone here all the time. Perhaps we can use this blog to accomplish some of that. I think you can subscribe to the blog and have it email you when anyone posts. I am hoping that anyone caring for her will check in on here and write a thing or two. (about mom)..(although jokes, funny stories, or rememberances are not shunned upon)
Julie is coming up tomorrow to have lunch and then stay over. I don't know who is going to be around this week to help out, but we need to coordinate. She really does need someone here round the clock, even if it's only for small things like brushing her teeth. I can't see her being alone anymore, her strength is too low.
The only other person I know that is coming up soon is Mary on the 21st. I'll be here that weekend before. If I can get out of work next monday I might come up sunday. I have to work saturday.
Well I'm going to get some shut eye before she calls me to come help with something.
I hope people use this site and that it helps us help her. :)
-Silas
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